08 Aug 2006
When piercings aren't enough

We often host visitors to the farm, and one time our guest was a young (early 20's) lady with more metal parts than RoboCop... six or seven earrings in each ear, plus spools in the lobes. Lips, nose, tongue and belly button all had metallic shafts or studs, some jeweled, some merely polished. And I'm sure there were parts of her that weren't on public display that were skewered as well ...

She was watching the chickens roam and eat in the East Paddock when the sheep came in from the pasture. Our visitor saw the sheep, and immediately announced that she couldn't possibly support our farm, as we were obviously cruel to animals!

I was incredulous, to say the least, and inquired as to where she got that idea. She just said, "Well, look at their poor ears! How could you do that to them? That's horrible!"

You see, we put ear tags in our sheep, both for identification and as part of the national scrapie program - one small plastic tag in each ear.

It was one of the few times in my life that I was struck dumb - absolutely speechless. What could I possibly have said to that? My instinct was to shoot her, before she could reproduce, but alas! we have laws against that.

However, while I'm certain I won't live to see it, I'm sure I'll have the last laugh metaphorically speaking. Because I can just imagine this girl at my mothers age - when she'll be tripping over her nipples and earlobes on her way to the bathroom - and peeing out of her naval.

Push for creativity, edge runs to extreme body modifications.

(link) [CNN.com]

20:18 /Humor | 7 comments | permanent link